• Old People hate modern technology, such as debit cards, which they don’t use because “nobody told [them] how to use the darn thing.” This is something Old People say a lot when they don’t know the ins and outs of something incredibly basic – nobody taught them how to use self-explanatory technology (see also: cell phones, video devices).
• The handful of Old People that may have once used a debit card don’t anymore because their money got stolen because they used “1234″ as their PIN.
• Old People like cursive writing, and checks are one of the few opportunities where it can be utilized.
• In the olden tymey days, where Old People once lived, only really fancy rich people had checking accounts. Everybody else paid for things with coins, buttons, and livestock. When they write checks today, Old People feel like really fancy rich people.
• Checks are a great way for Old People to kill a few more minutes of their tedious, waning days while simultaneously fostering a false sense of importance by taking forever to write a check.
