Old People Love Hard Candy

The usefulness of the taste buds of an Old Person have dwindled to near zero at this point in their lives, lo, these same taste buds that once tasted ketchup-soaked porterhouse steaks, the glorious defeat of Tojo, and the supple, milky breasts of Maragaret Truman. The closest an Old Person can get now to enjoying the taste of something, anything, is with the powerful, near painful (to the Young Person) sweetness of hardened, sticky, individually-wrapped butterscotch discs. Also appealing to Old People are that they are a bargain, as a bag of 500 butterscotch candies costs about a dollar, lasts forever, and don’t have to be stored in that pesky electronic thugamaboo – a pocketbook or porcelain dish will do nicely.